Why am I sooo jealous?

My husband gives me *every* liberty in our marriage.....I mean...every...liberty. Even allows me to have a boyfriend. Yes, he is very much in love with me and he'd die if I left him. But I can't return the favor...I don't know why...I'm not even ok with him looking at porn....I know this is entirely a self-esteem issue. I don't feel attractive enough at all. I just had a baby and I'm still wrinkled like a sponge... Stretch marks everywhere. And these girls have tight smooth bodies. I'd have a great body if it weren't for these d*** stretch marks! What is your honest opinion of me?