Sycotic problem!!?!?!?

ok, i almost 12, and my life isn't happy. i have all these systems and such at my school. because i dont behave well, in class, and i get 1 warning and im in the office. i keep thinking of suicide, particulary, choking. my life is so stressful. i have these to kids at my school, john and emily, that are one of the large sources of stress. i am not productive with work, my mom says im going threw puberty, but i dont know. i am teased alot at school and a lot of kids think im ugly. my dad yells a lot. and i dont know im embarred but i dont even no if im straight. my mom says i am. i think some guys are hott, and she says she thinks osme girls are hott. i juts dont know what to do. and i have anxeity attacks a lot. please help!!!!!!!!!!