Feel like sh"", why was I so stupid.. Ive just made it worse....?

Ok I knew that I had anxiety and phobia of doing speeches at school and with other stuff mildy... but I just went to the doctors with my mum to ask to be reffered to a psycologist... I was fine when I went in but just when the topic came up it just made me real anxious thinking about it so I sat there while she asked questions and crying basically.. looking like a complete idiot when I went in there to talk about a phoibia and now she just thinks that Im mad or something. shes prescribed me meds. I was crying in there when I wanted to talk about my phobia but she thinks I have generaalized anxiety disorder now and ughh even my mum was surprised with the I acted and shes totally embarred by me and we are all going on holiday with my family tomorrow and out with friends and Ive just ruined everything.. I was fine before I went in the surgery but now everythings just :( I have an appointment with a psycologist.. but now I feel like Im not myself, I feel like I really have a problem and I dont know whether to take the meds... they are citalopram but I dont want to be on meds??? I just feel hopeless the whole things on my mind now... I dont know what to do...